Hey, Asshole!
Dear Mr. Asshole/Shit Head/Cockgobbler,
When you call my boss and say you have been calling me all morning and can’t get a hold of me and I am not returning your calls, you better have your stories straight, because I will call you out and prove that is not the case. There is a saying we have here at my company..."Laziness on your part does not constitute a priority for me."
You see, there is this little thing called TECHNOLOGY that enables many people to communicate on a daily basis. When you call my desk and get my voicemail, my message says “leave a message and I will be paged immediately”. So EVERY voicemail I have, I get paged. Had you left me a voicemail using said technology, I would have been paged, and called in to check my messages, and returned your call. And when you say you called my cell phone but I did not answer…well there is a little feature known as RECENT CALLS. If your number is not in that list, you did not call me.
Maybe I am way off base when I assume that you have the mental ability to know how to leave a simple message on voicemail, but it would appear that you do not, as I had no messages. Shit, even my 3 yr old knows how to dial numbers and make a call, you dumb fuck.
So, asshole, next time you call my boss freaking out over a goddamn FAX LINE being a priority for your Golf Course, try using the proper channels of communication first. Because now that I have your number, you can bet your retarded ass I will not be answering your calls any time soon, and you may be lucky if I return a “phantom” message within a day or so. You have been warned.
Have a wonderful day!
Sincerely,
Slinger
4 comments:
Bad day!?! Wow, I thought I was the only one that has the pleasure or dealing with assholes all day long. You go boy!
Cockgobbler???? McGone - can you put the definition out on that one??
I'm sorry Papa Slinger.
Not sure if there is a definition, but it was a line by Michael Bolton in "Office Space" after he found out he was getting laid off.
Basically a derogatory remark.
Christ, man... and I thought I had it bad dealing with bogus contractors who have squadoo for brains (tried testing connectivity to my router using his web browser when I said "ping" and "login to the console." Hey, I didn't hire him and it's obvious the retards who did didn't ask him jack about networking). Last time someone tried to blame me for their failure and I called them on it, I at least got an apology from the guy. In writing, even!
(ha! Office Space is great! I loved it when they opened a can of whoop-ass on the printer. It was so therapeutic.)
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