Top 5 Fridays Just Doesn’t Get it

Today’s (late) edition of Top 5 Fridays is a think piece:

Top 5 Things to Make You Scratch Your Head and Wonder WTF?


5. Why anyone would defend - let alone encourage people to listen to - “She Thinks Tractor’s Sexy?”

This article was written by our new photographer, and in his defense, he’s a good guy and a hell of a shutterbug. But seriously... “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy?” Every time that song comes on in a bar, I’m about to commit a hate crime. And same goes for “I Love This Bar” (thanks to BPDP and Freckles, I hear it about 9.9 out of ten times I’m in a bar) Anyway, I can let the country music thing go, since Adam the photographer is also responsible for making the front of our sports section look like Maxim magazine today. Well, if Maxim and Barely Legal ran a newspaper is probably more accurate:

To quote Wooderson, "That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."


And now I feel dirty.

4. What exactly is Lindsay Lohan’s new movie about anyway?

Seriously. (Image Not Safe For Work - unless you want to get some weird glances for your co-workers)

3. Will this be the goofiest baby ever?

The child will probably be talking out of it's ass before it learns to walk.

2. CNBC doesn’t have fact checkers?

Seriously, can you believe that “Pirates of the Carribbean” beat the box office record previously set by a movie that doesn’t exist? Hell, I can do that. There I just had someone give me a quarter. I have now made more money than every fake movie ever made.

1. "Little Man”

We have already talked about this. Thankfully Pirates will probably prevent it from being the number one movie in the country this weekend, but just knowing it’s out there makes me groan. If I were to meet someone and they said “I saw ‘Little Man’ on opening weekend,” I would know exactly everything I need to know about that person.