News You Can't Use

You know it will be a movie:

Two bitter archrivals find themselves joining forces to take down another group that threatens to destroy one of them from within. The FBI go undercover to blow the lid off of a $1.5 million coke deal.

Ooops... I meant "Coke" deal, with a capital C.

I imagine that the inevitable movie will star Paul Walker as "Pepsi" and Jackie Chan as "Coke"


Some Lovin' For The Idiot Box



Emmy nominations were announced this morning and Jack Bauer does what he always does... He kicked a little ass. 12 nominations for '24,' including two nominations for the most dysfunctional first family ever. Keifer got a Best Actor nod, but is going up against Denis Leary. I can't play favorites.

>cough< Keifer >cough<

I like to think Keifer was so excited when he heard this that he went and tackled a Christmas Tree.

In the comedy category, "Arrested Development" gets some posthumous love and has some great company with "The Office," "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "Scrubs," but the which-one-of-these-is-not-like-the-other entry - "Two and Half Men" will of course be the shoo-in.

There was no love for "Lost" this year (damn you all), but on the plus side it would seem that most Emmy voters have come to their senses and realized that "Desperate Housewives" is a smoldering pile of crap. Eva Longoria in lingerie plus Teri Hatcher falling down does not equal good TV.

Well, maybe if it was just Eva in lingerie for the whole hour.