Confessions of a Blogging Virgin

Hi, my name is McGone, and I’m a blogging virgin. Oh, I’m familiar with the entire phenomenon of blogging, and I even have several bookmarked blogs I read on a daily basis (no, never at work. That would be... unheard of). But since the inception of this blog, I’ve been content to let Eric do all the work, posting odd news stories and photos or whatever amusing memory falls out of his kid-clogged mind, and I would pipe in with my little comments (usually two kinds: amusing, and not so much). That would make me the “peanut gallery,” if you’re so inclined to use antiquated dialect (or if you are an audience member of the Howdy Doody Show). Now Coach Slinger has called me out of the dugout and is actually putting me in the game, thinking that someday I may accidentally have something funny or useful to say. And someday I may. But for now, here are some Frequently Asked Questions:

Who are you?
My name is Shawn McGuan, and I am a graphic designer for a newspaper and a freelance illustrator, as well as a raconteur, gadfly and occasional layabout.

I’ve known Eric for 16+ years and was the best man in his wedding, as well as godfather to Slinger Rugrats Ryan and Brett. I thought having so much responsibility was an honor, but it’s really just a ploy Mama Slinger Amy uses when they need to move or paint the kitchen. Unfortunately I’m busy those days. And I’ve checked the godfather handbook. No where in there does it say anything about having to help clean out the garage.

Did you know your names rhyme?
Yes, thank you, I am well aware of that. At least that means you are pronouncing it correctly.

Why? How would I mispronounce it?
“McGwin,” “McGowan,” “McGwayne,” and my favorite mispronunciation to date, “McGogwin.” A close second is “McGwami.”

What were your parents thinking when they named you?
Apparently they weren’t, as I just recently asked my mom why she gave me a rhyming name. She was unaware of it to that point, something my girlfriend found highly amusing.

Holy crap, dude! I just googled you - why didn’t you say you have a PhD. and you are the President/CEO of a biomechanic research company?
Wrong Shawn P. McGuan. But I plan on using his credentials at my next class reunion.

So, why “McGone?”
The closest thing I have to a nickname, McGone is my alter ego. He shows up after too many rounds at the bar. Myself and several co-workers have names that tend to lend themselves to drunk euphemisms, oddly enough.

Are you drunk right now?
Unfortunately, I am not.

Why are you here?
Slinger asked me to contribute. Actually, he didn’t ask. He just said I could.

Is Celebrex right for me?
Ask your doctor. Side effects that may occur while taking this medicine include diarrhea, dizziness, indigestion, stomach pain, gas, nausea, or headache. If they continue or are bothersome, check with your doctor. Fluid retention has been reported.

**** UPDATE TO CELEBREX INFO ****
May not be right for you:
Rare side effects may include: Allergic reactions, anxiety, belching, blisters in mouth and eyes, blood disorders, blood infections, blurred vision, bone disorders, breast pain, breast problems, bronchitis, cataracts, chest pain, colitis, conjunctivitis (pinkeye), constipation, coughing, cysts, dark-tarry stools, deafness, depression, dermatitis, diabetes, difficult urination, difficulty breathing, difficulty swallowing, drowsiness, dry mouth, dry skin, earache, ear infection, ear ringing, esophageal perforation, eye infection, eye pain, fainting, fatigue, fever, flu symptoms, fungal infection, gallstones, gangrene, general swelling, glaucoma (pressure in the eye), hair loss, heart failure, heart irregularities, hemorrhoids, hepatitis, hernia of the stomach, herpes infection, hives, hot flashes, increased appetite, increased blood pressure, increased heart rate, increased muscle tone, increased urination, infection, inflammation of the digestive tract, inflammation of the bladder, inflammation of the blood vessels, intestinal bleeding, intestinal obstruction or perforation, itching, jaundice, joint pain or inflammation, kidney problems, laryngitis, leg cramps, liver problems, loss of appetite, loss of balance, low blood sugar, menstrual disorders, migraine headache, mouth ulcers, muscle ache, nail disorders, neck stiffness, nerve pain, nervousness, nosebleeds, pain, painful urination, pancreatitis, phlebitis, pneumonia, poor coordination, prostate problems, severe diarrhea, severe skin rash and peeling, skin reaction due to sunlight, skin sensitivity, skin tingling, stroke, suicide, sweating, swollen face and throat, taste disturbances, tendonitis, tiredness, tooth disorders, urinary incontinence, urinary tract infections, vaginal problems, vomiting, weakness, weight gain

Pretty much ANYTHING uncomfortable is possible. GOOD LUCK!! -updated by SLINGER